With immediate effect, I am announcing my formal resignation as Chief Executive Producer from Club Penguin Armies.
It takes a lot of energy to write a retirement post, but this time I want to do it. And to do it right. My last retirement post was written an hour before I published it, and I didn’t get to indulge in the (cringing) self-importance that we’ve come to expect and love from a Club Penguin army retirement post. So here I am.
When considering what I wanted to include, I knew that I didn’t want to touch on my career and experiences serving in the Army of Club Penguin. That is completely separate and I have a retirement post already on the ACP website for that. Instead, I want to keep this focused on my services to the community as a whole, across the many different organisations and administrations that I have been a part of. In total, I have served in five organisations: the CP Army Media, CP Army Hub, Shamrock Bulletin, CP Army Headquarters, and Club Penguin Armies. In these, I have been lucky to work with some of the most amazing and talented people, who have inspired and influenced me to become a better human and writer.
But serving as an administrator is not as glamorous as you might think. I have had the best time and have made some incredible memories, but with great power comes an even greater level of responsibility to do right by the community. Over the last two and a half years, I believe I have always put the community first. But today, as I step back from this role, I am putting myself first. There comes a time for us all, and this is mine.
The first thing I ever remember wanting to be as a child was a journalist. I guess I fulfilled that dream, at least in some small capacity in this crazy corner of the internet. I have always loved words. Writing them, reading them. There is so much power in words, they can make us feel things, see things, understand things, and learn things that we never knew before. This love for words led to almost 3 years of dedicated service to the media facet of Club Penguin Armies.
Part I: A Reporter Trainee Starts Writing
To start at the beginning, we must rewind the clock all the way to February 2020. I had been serving in the Army of CP since November of 2019 but had kept solely to the confinements of the ACP Discord server while working my way through the ranks, and not engaging with the wider community and its media outlets. This changed in February when I decided to join the CP Army Media staff team as a ‘Reporter Trainee’ – an organisation that was headed by my media mother and father, Ayan and Emcee. On February 16th, I published my very first article.
This was, of course, not my first time in Club Penguin army media. I had served several positions in the original community days, as a Vice President of CPA Central and other such roles within the Small-Medium Army Central & Small-Medium Army Press. But alas, I was a very different person re-entering the community in 2019 and a very different writer as I hit the ‘publish’ button on that first article for the CP Army Media.
It would take only five days for me to publish something I have since become very well known for: my first ever multilogging investigation and exposé. This concerned the Team Yellow Army, and I was able to investigate and unearth a confession from the leadership. Just 5 days into the job, I was able to produce an exciting article as a Reporter Trainee and knew at this point that it was something I would both thrive and adore doing: writing articles that people wanted to talk about, engage with, and felt an impact from.
My next big piece came in April of that year when the world saw us stuck inside and many old and new faces were finding their way to the army community because of it. I brought back an old CPAC classic, the ‘Undercover Troop’ format which exposed some individuals for ‘bribery for ranks’. Again, the post made noise throughout the community and generated much discussion. From here, I took off. I worked consistently to produce articles, editorials and investigations at a rate that surprised many. This included my media parents/bosses, Ayan and Emcee, who generously saw potential in me and allowed me to climb the ranks quickly. Soon, I was ranked as a Vice President and working in the ‘Fantastic Four’ alongside Ayan, Emcee and Pookie.
Part II: The Best of Times
But as we approached the Summer of 2020, unification with the CP Online side of the community had finally come in the form of the CP Army Hub. Here, I was to be ranked as an Executive Producer under the helm of Pookie437 and LuciferStar. Much to my delight, I found myself running the media department with some incredible people, and we were truly inspired to innovate media within the community to a standard that we had not seen before. And I had the most amazing time doing so, surrounded by some of the most incredible talents we’ve had in the community to date. Lucifer, Sophie, Mehakk, Cassie, Kally, Caramel, Koloway, Zamb, and the rest of the reporting and editorial team. You were all incredible and I am so proud of what we were able to accomplish together. To be honoured as ‘Best Administrator’ at the End of Summer Awards 2020 was an exciting moment I am still thankful for.
But when speaking about the CP Army Hub, there is no skimming over the darkness that prevailed in the final stages of the organisation’s lifetime. This was devastating for those that had worked so hard at the CP Army Hub and devoted so much of their energy. But when a ship is sinking in open water, sometimes the best thing to do is get everyone into the lifeboats and sail away. I’m definitely sad about the way things ended for that organisation, and to this day think CPAH receives an unwarranted amount of hate.
Part III: A Lost Boy
Anyone there at the time will surely agree with me: the start of 2021 was rough. The community was without the stability of CPAH, and flash had just ceased, meaning we had no stable game to operate our armies on. I was still serving as a second-in-command at the Army of CP, and knew I could not join the developing organisation at that time: the CP Army Headquarters. This was partly out of loyalty to the Army Hub, but also because I knew I could not achieve my dream of ACP leader while holding an administrator rank within an organisation. My passion had always been media, and now I was without it. So what did I do? I transformed the ACP’s internal newspaper, the Shamrock Bulletin, into a community-wide media organisation. This would not have been possible without the amazing support of CSY, who pushed me to do this and allowed me to have complete creative control.
The Shamrock Bulletin is something I am truly proud of and had the most fun running alongside my best friend and co-administrator from CP Army Hub: Sophie. Together, we worked hard to produce exciting columns and articles that covered both ACP and community news, at a time when there was no other media organisation. We hosted a battle server tournament, the Spring Showdown, which was successful at the time. We were the first publication to provide a Top Ten Armies in 2021 as the CP Army HQ had not yet launched. Later, we collaborated with the CP Army Hub to make positive changes to the Top Ten formula and helped co-host the Community Pride Parade alongside CPAHQ and the CP Army Network.
But as time went on and the real world opened up after the pandemic, Sophie first departed and later a lack of time prevented me to progress with the Shamrock Bulletin. I departed ACP at the end of July 2021, handing over the reins to AgentFrog1, who had been a great support and an even greater contributor to the Shamrock Bulletin with his brilliant work ethic and amazing quality articles.
Part IV: Return to Duty
For the next few months, I forced myself to stay off Discord, only coming on once every fortnight to catch up with friends and respond to messages. I was so sure that my time within the community was finished for good, and that I had nothing left to offer. But as it so often goes for people here, I was drawn back into the chaos in October 2021. You have Spotty to blame for this, as she encouraged me to enlist in the CP Army HQ, and I was grateful to be hired on as Editor.
I very quickly fell back in love with army media and earned myself the Editor-in-Chief position by the December of 2021. Having had the experience of dealing with the End of Year content in CP Army Hub the year before, I was able to get involved with many projects that year and throw myself into the excitement that they offered.
Upon my promotion into the administration on January 1st, 2022, I made the following statement: “I am very excited to be joining the administration team and working to create a better and more progressive environment for the community this year.” Looking back, I feel like I kept my promise here.
I truly did not expect to enjoy working at the CP Army HQ, as much as I did. The team there was fantastic, and we were able to do so much with the limitations of a split community clouding over us. During this time, I helped to run the ‘AUSIA Arena: Winter Edition’ and March Madness VII tournaments alongside the organisation committee, which consisted of myself, F6sixer, Iceyfeet123, Barnito & Superhero123. I always saw this as the starting point for unification with the CP Army Network, as our team was made up of individuals from ‘both sides’ and worked so well together. The introduction of the United Media was a huge step, which allowed for consistent media coverage across the two league websites. Although this was met with criticism from some of the administration team at CP Army HQ, I always knew this was a necessary thing for eventual unification. I am so glad we preserved with it.
Who would I be if I did not mention the Community Pride Parade? You knew it was coming! Well, after such a successful event in 2021, which saw nearly every army in the community participate (grr, Templars) and a total of 80 rainbow penguins in attendance, I knew the follow-up in 2022 had to be bigger and better than ever. And it was. Over 100 people came out to celebrate our incredible LGBTQ+ community, with custom rooms, items and backgrounds produced for CPA Battleground. A huge thank you to Superhero123 and the incredible art team at CPAB for supporting my vision here.
Part V: Stronger Together
The CPAHQ-CPAN unification talks were the worst-kept secret in the community for months. They originally began in late March and saw months and months of relentless, painstaking discussion. To all those involved in that tedious and long process, I am so glad we all kept going and were able to find common ground once more with the launch of Club Penguin Armies. But we did.
The last few months serving as Chief Executive Producer here at Club Penguin Armies have been extremely exciting and rewarding, as it is the first time I was able to assume such a role. I always joked with friends that I was forever a second-in-command and had even grown comfortable playing this part, so assuming CEP here has been a welcome challenge. With such a brilliant staff team, we have been able to further innovate and push the boundaries of Club Penguin army media. Flen’s incredible website theme marked the end for an organisation using Digg 3, and Koloway and Dino’s beautiful graphics and branding allowed CPA to make a huge impact on the community upon launch.
Unification was long overdue and has already allowed for some interesting wars, conflicts, tournaments and events to occur. As an administration, we may not have done everything perfectly and have seen some failures – be that the Beach Brawl II or handling of certain aspects of the Legends Cup XII – but we have never claimed to be perfect. We are just people that want to see the community thrive and are committed to offering our time and energy into making this a reality.
The community has always been stronger together, and I hope that Club Penguin Armies can continue on into the future with a new generation of administrators passionate about unity, fairness, and innovation. I write my final words in this story and hand over the pen to these new faces, whoever they may be.
Over the last three years, I have been extremely lucky to have worked on so many incredible stories, breaking news articles, live blogs, and investigations that have exposed the wrongdoings and corruption of individuals and armies in the community. I have collated the following list with some of my proudest work, highlighting my very favourites in bold.
There is an impossible amount of people that I want to mention, and so many I already know that I will be missing from this list. If I do miss you, I am truly sorry. There are so many people that I have met along this journey, and to you all, I want to say a huge thank you for everything.
Sophie: It would be criminal of me to not have you first on this list, for you have always put me first since I have known you, been friends with you, and worked across so many organisations and projects with you. We’ve said it so many times, but you are truly like a sister to me. Thank you for being an incredible friend and supporter of mine, and for the most incredible memories.
CSY: My beloved Commander. The People’s Commander. Serving as your second-in-command was the most fun I have ever had. You allowed me to go ahead with so many crazy ideas that I had, never once putting me down and always championing me. But aside from that, you have the kindest heart. We’re definitely staying in touch – I promised you a painting picture after all!
Koloway: My first leader, and the person that opened my eyes to a new generation of Club Penguin Armies. You inspired my love for innovation within the community, which I have always passionately fought for. That aside, you’re a really kind and awesome person. Thank you for being a great friend, making me laugh, listening to my problems, and helping me in my times of need.
Mchappy: I f**king love you, Mchappy. We are so similar sometimes, which is probably why we bicker like a couple of old women. But you are everything I want to be – intelligent, cool, funny, and really, really gay! You were there for me throughout my most challenging moments in ACP, and for that I thank you. I’m still sure I was your favourite.
Kingfunks4: We have been friends for almost 13 years. That is insane. You are the coolest guy ever, and I have really loved being your friend, especially over these last few years. Thank you for trusting me, you know I’m always here if you need me.
Flen: You are definitely the craziest person I’ve met here, but I feel lucky to call you one of my closest friends. Thank you for being you – never apologise for that or dim your light. From queer book recommendations to being spam-called on Discord, I have so many amazing memories from the years we have known each other. You are a one-in-a-million!
Superhero123: Who would know that two people could be so different but get on so well? Your kindness, intelligence and devotion to the community has always inspired me. I will always cherish our friendship and memories together – from late-night multilogging investigations to deep chats about personal stuff, thank you for it all.
CP Army Media & CP Army Hub
Ayan: I have very special memories of our reporting duo back in CPAM, and will always cherish the guidance and support you gave me from then and to this very day. Thank you for agreeing to be an Advisor at CPA.
Emcee: Mother! Thank you for championing and encouraging me during CPAM & CPAH, you always had something wise to say that would guide me in the right direction. When you retired in 2020, you told me to always stand by what I believe in – even if I am the only one standing. I have kept that with me since, so thank you for that and all your other wisdom.
LuciferStar: You’re an amazing friend, Luci. Thank you for all the amazing memories that we shared at CPAH. Oh, and I definitely won that CPAM vs. CPOAL post-off… haha.
Pookie: It’s such a shame that all the good you did was ruined by your final actions in the community, but I choose to remember all the great memories we shared before that and the support you gave me in both CPAM & CPAH.
Zamb: Aside from being the most incredible artist and eloquent writer, you are genuinely the kindest and sweetest guy. I really enjoyed the many conversations we had over the years. I am wishing you all the best in life, I know you’re somewhere thriving right now.
32op: It felt wrong not to include you here, even though your time in CPAM and CPAH was very short. I will never forget my tantrum when CSY hired you into the ACP Higher Command… only to find out you’re a really sweet and kind guy. I was not expecting that at all. Thank you for some great memories over the years, and for giving me plenty to write about… all the best.
Kally: I’ve double-checked my spelling and grammar multiple times here, as I know you’ll pick up on any mistakes! Haha, but seriously: thank you for being a wonderful friend and support of mine over the years. We had the best fun in CPAH, United Media, and CPA, but let’s just not talk about the CPAH Podcast..!
- Scorpion Demon
CP Army HQ & Club Penguin Armies
DMT: You were an amazing CEO and I miss you a lot. I hope you’re OK and enjoying life. You’ll never need to worry about me calling your Discord again haha.
Spotty: We really were the best AD & VD duo in HQ! Thank you for bringing me back to the community, I have the best memories from those times and am proud of what we were able to accomplish together! You are a devoted administrator and I know you will continue to do amazing things here at CPA.
Crazzy: The coolest ever person in CPA! You’re smart, funny, loyal and above everything else, have an incredible sense of morality and judgement that I love about you. Thank you for all the support you’ve given me.
Orange: You keep leaving me Orange – first ACP, then CPAH, and then it was CPA! Jokes aside, you are an awesome guy and a great person to work with, so thank you for all those great memories that we’ve shared together.
Disha: You have been so dedicated to army media these last few years, and I have loved watching you grow as a writer and person. Thank you for your friendship and support, I wish you all the best.
Dino, Frostty, Subster, Master DS, Gabi: You are all truly the most talented and incredible graphic designers. Thank you so much for your hard work, the organisation would be nothing without you.
Wynn & Link3000: I have loved becoming friends with you both this year, you’re such awesome people with a great attitude and a fantastic work ethic. I wish you the best of luck with everything.
Army of Club Penguin
Cubster: Maxster Spring, Summer, Autumn & Winter! You were an awesome person to lead ACP with, and I am so thankful for all those times and memories we made together.
2funky3, Robot, Kailey, Daniel, Zelly, FatChicken, Gugspugs: Thank you for the most incredible memories from ACP, our higher command team was iconic and the most fun because of all of you. I hope you’re all living your best lives now.
AgentFrog1: You reminded me so much of myself when we first met, but I soon came to realise you’re far better than me! A talented graphic designer, amazing writer, and intelligent individual. If only you didn’t take school so seriously, you’d make the best army leader or league administrator (I stand by what I said!). You have your priorities right, so best of luck with everything you do in the future. I have no doubt you’ll smash it (especially if it’s spreadsheet related).
Calgocubs: You have already done incredible things in ACP, and I have no doubt you will go on to do more! I wish you the best of luck, and have fun!
- Clover Kailey
- King Mondo
- Tina x
The pressure is on for me to say something profound in my final words. Especially for someone that has built a career for the last three years writing (a lot of) words. With that said, I want to address two things.
Firstly, it is no great secret that the community is lacking at present, with the usual suspects declaring imminent death once again. But I want to stress something that may be obvious to some: it does not matter. It doesn’t matter if the community is struggling right now, because it has every potential to bounce back as it has done countless times. And even if it doesn’t… then that also does not matter.
We can only ever be exactly what we are in that moment, and not a single thing more. Whatever the state of the community or the size that your army is reaching, enjoy the moment for what it is and hold onto your friendships – the only victory that really matters.
This brings me to something else that I have been thinking about for some time now, and even started an editorial during the Summer but never got around to finishing it. It concerned the age-old enigma of: “Why are we here?” and more interestingly to me, “What are we searching for?” This concept has been torn apart by the philosophers of the community many times throughout the years, but I was able to narrow down my own perspective to the following:
- To be ourselves
- To be someone else
- For connection
- For power
- For enjoyment
I believe we are all here searching for something that we do not have, but desire. This will of course vary from person to person and will take on different forms depending on the context of their situation – be that praise, power, relevancy, enjoyment, friendship and connection, or the ability to be authentic. And to be clear: I don’t think anyone should be judged for this. We are all existing and fighting our own, personal demons every day.
As I write these final words, I feel content in the knowledge that I have found what I was looking for the day that I re-entered the Club Penguin army community in November 2019. For me, it was the ability to be myself unapologetically, to exist as my queer self without worrying about what others will think of me or what the consequences of my authenticity will be. In the time that I have been here, I have come out in real-life, lost friends and gained new ones that truly accept me, and discovered a better version of myself that I like. I am thankful to this corner of the internet for allowing me to grow and find what I was searching for.
I hope that you find what you are searching for, too.
Forever your devoted administrator,